circumcisions: i’m so naturally funny because my life is a joke
I’m getting a fucking divorce.– my dad when my mom threw a draw 4 in uno (via guccier)
katyissuperwholocked: superwhoavengehobbitpotterlock: You are allowed to drink when you’re 16. You are allowed in clubs when you’re 18. You receive free education. You receive economic support while studying. You enjoy free hospitalization. You’ll be correctly informed by objective news channels.
it’s been a bad couple of days. Read More
fancifullauren: irishfangirlshipper: dorkstrider: why do women’s clothing designers believe that girls do not need pockets It’s so they can sell us bags
randomstuff134: sodamnrelatable: take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like
skittyspostlimitblog: sometimes my twelve year old little sister will go on club penguin and trick a bunch of girls that she’s a guy and she’ll make them think they’re dating and then she’ll have them all meet her in the same place at the same time and watch them get into catfights about who’s boyfriend she is and thats how my little sister became a cross-dressing evil mastermind pimp on club...
awkwardvagina: one time my friend asked me to make a playlist for a road trip because their car radio didnt work so i made one that consisted of 14 different versions of party in the usa and long story short im not trusted with bringing music anymore
Me, after working out several days in a row: "Why would I ever NOT work out?"
Me, after one day of rest: "Why would anyone work out EVER?"
galacticdad: when i was little i learned what schizophrenia was from TV and for a while i was really afraid because i thought i had it since i always heard my own voice in my head so finally i told a doctor and he informed me that what i was experiencing was called thinking.
australiansanta: instead of funeral why can’t it be called life graduation
the worst part about having a crush on someone is everything
Scott: Welcome to Late Night with we don't know what the fuck we're doing.
Scott: Featuring, everybody.
janecrocker: do you ever see the person you have a crush on do something really fucking ridiculous and you just watch and think “ah yes this is where i have laid my affections”
fetusich: my life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes
teddytrumpet: andsuddenlycoffee: excalilbur: acquaint: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS this website scares me this website inspires me ...
officialdogblog: procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due
radioactivepapertowns: dragonflycup: wifelife: Girls, when you’re feeling sad, just remember: a vagina can go back to it’s original size after taking something 20x its size a penis will end up looking like an empty potato sack that’s been run over quite a lot if it does you can do this girl be as resilient as your vagina shine bright like a ‘gina what did I just read My penis hurts...
sakunora: Hey Cry congrats on being a mom, although I do feel being 15 is a bit too young, I’m sure you’ll do fine.
mobble: my friend and i found some temple run fanfiction yesterday